5 choices youll regret forever

5 choices youll regret forever5 choices youll regret foreverOur days are filled with a constant stream of decisions. Most are mundane, but some are so important that they can haunt you for the rest of your life.A recent study from Columbia University found that were bogged down by more than 70 decisions a day. The sheer number of decisions we have to make each day leads to a phenomenon called decision fatigue, whereby your brain actually tires like a muscle.A new study from the University of Texas shows that even when our brains arent tired, they can make it very difficult for us to make good decisions. When making a decision, instead of referencing the knowledge weve accumulated, our brains focus on specific, detailed memories.For example, if youre buying a new car and trying to decide if you should go for the leather seats, even though you know you cant afford it, your brain might focus on memories of the wonderful smell and feel of the leather seats in your brothers sports car, wh en it should be focused on the misery youre going to experience when making your monthly car payments. Since you dont have memories of this yet, its a hard thing for your brain to contemplate.I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. Stephen CoveySome decisions are minor, such as what to eat, which route to drive to work, or in what order to tackle tasks others are more difficult, such as choosing between two job offers, whether to move to a new city for someone you love, or whether to cut a toxic person out of your life. Regardless of the magnitude of the decision, our brains make it hard for us to keep the perspective we need to make good choices.Bronnie Ware spent her career as a palliative care nurse, working exclusively with people who were 3 to 12 months from death. She made a habit of asking them about their greatest regrets, and she heard the same five regrets time and time again. By studying these regrets, you can make certain that you make goo d choices and dont fall victim to them yourself.They wish they hadnt made decisions based on what other people thinkWhen you make your decisions based on other peoples opinions, two things tend to happenYou make a poor career choiceThere are too many people out there who studied for a degree they regret or even spent their lives pursuing a career they regret. Whether youre seeking parental approval or pursuing pay and prestige over passion, making a poor career choice is a decision that will live with you forever.You fail to uphold your moralsWhen you get too caught up in what your boss thinks of you, how much money you think your spouse needs to be happy, or how badeanstalt you will look if you fail, you are at high risk of violating your own morals. Your intense desire to make yourselflook goodcompromises your ability to stay true to yourself and, ultimately, tofeel good.The best way to avoid falling prey to the opinions of others is to realize that other peoples opinions are just that- opinions. Regardless of how great or terrible they think you are, thats only their opinion. Your true self-worth comes from within.They wish they hadnt worked so hardWorking hard is a great way to impact the world, to learn, to grow, to feel accomplished, and sometimes even to find happiness, but it becomes a problem when you do so at the expense of the people closest to you. Ironically, we often work hard to make money for the people we care about without realizing that they value our company more than money. The key is to find a balance between doing what you love and being with the people you love. Otherwise youll look back one day and wish youd focused more on the latter.They wish they had expressed their feelingsWere taught as children that emotions are dangerous and that they must be bottled up and controlled. This usually works at first, but boxing up your feelings causes them to grow until they erupt. The best thing you can do is to put your feelings directly on the t able. Though its painful to initiate, it forces you to be honest and transparent.For example, if you feel as though you dont make enough money at work, schedule a meeting with your boss and propose why you think youre worth more. As a result, she will either agree with you and give you a raise or disagree and tell you what you do need to do to become more valuable. On the other hand, if you do nothing and let your feelings fester, this will hinder your performance and prevent you from reaching your goal.They wish they had stayed in spur with their friendsWhen you get caught up in your weekly routine, its easy to lose sight of how important people are to you, especially those you have to make time for. Relationships with old friends are among the first things to fall off the table when were busy. This is unfortunate because spending time with friends is a major stress buster. Close friends bring you energy, fresh perspectives, and a sense of belonging, in a way that no one else can.T hey wish they had let themselves be happyWhen your life is about to end, all the difficulties youve faced suddenly become trivial compared to the good times. This is because you realize that, more often than not, suffering is a choice. Unfortunately, most people realize this far too late. Although we all inevitably experience pain, how we react to our pain is completely under our control, as is our ability to experience joy. Learning to laugh, smile, and be happy (especially when stressed) is a challenge at times, but its one thats worth every ounce of effort.Bringing it all togetherSome decisions have repercussions that can last a lifetime. Most of these decisions are made daily, and they require focus and perspective to keep them from haunting you.This article first appeared on LinkedIn.